The Downhill Slide

April 19, 2010

It started yesterday. Maybe it was when I looked in the mirror and was suddenly disgusted by the extra ten pounds hanging off my hips. Maybe it was when I looked into the closet and realized I was tired of wearing the same five shirts and one pair of jeans over and over because I'm stuck in limbo between maternity wear and my "skinny" clothes. Maybe it was when I treated myself to lunch and a movie and felt pathetic for not having a friend to go with me. Or maybe it was when my husband went out to get dinner at Taco Bell and came back with someone else's order, the cheapest item on the menu, sans tomatoes.

You've got to be kidding, right???

The terrible thing about depression is that you can be happily skipping along one minute and...BOOM! Suddenly, your parade is getting rained on. Everything becomes a major annoyance: bills, obligations, phone calls, personal hygiene. You want to stomp, and scream, and go to bed, and not get up.

For a very long time.

Unfortunately, I don't have that luxury. Hardly ever do I have it, and certainly not today. William is counting on me, so I must work through it. The guest bathroom needs cleaning, and the nursery could use some organization. Maybe I'll do that. Accomplishing something tangible, even something small, usually helps.


C. Beth said...

I hope your week gets much better!

I wanted to congratulate you; I just gave you a One-Minute Writing of the Day award for 3/30. Great job. :)

April said...

Thanks, Beth!

I don't envy you having to choose winners for some of your topics. The Friday Fiction "Rock" had many great responses. Cosmo J. Newberry's poem was out of this world! One of the best I've read this side of post modernism.

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