Unwell

February 18, 2012

At this point, some of you are probably thinking I've entirely abandoned this blog. Well, not quite. I'm still here. Just not in the best frame of mind.

I don't know what's happening to me. In the past 3 to 6 months, my mental health has declined sharply. I've struggled to write, struggled fall asleep, struggled to get out of bed, struggled to concentrate, struggled to even buy groceries and feed myself. Sometimes it literally feels as if someone is driving a wedge between the two halves of my brain. Sometimes it feels like I'm hanging from a thread.

I decided a couple of weeks ago to seek professional help again. I had my first appointment with a counselor on Wednesday. I was looking forward to the appointment thinking that I would feel some measure of relief afterward. Apparently, I can't be that lucky. It was brutal, and I've felt emotionally raw ever since.

Yet, I realized some very important things from that session. First of all, I've neglected my mental and emotional health for far too long. I'm seeking help for issues now that I should have sought help for years ago. Second, there are some issues I thought I had laid to rest that are still bothering me deep down. Maybe this time I can finally move past them. I promise to keep you posted.

Thanks for hanging in there with me, dear readers.