10 Things I Hate about Depression

January 10, 2011

10. Nothing's happening.

At least, it feels like nothing's happening, because I don't want to do anything. Even when I manage to accomplish something, like washing the dishes or straightening the house, all I seem to see are the dozen other tasks that are left undone.

9. You suck.

I can't handle other people's problems or grouchiness. I just don't have the empathy.

8. I don't understand.

I don't understand how I can be on the verge of manic one minute, and practically crying in my soup the next. I don't understand how screwing up a simple meatball dinner can nearly send me over the edge. I don't understand how feeling sad can make me obnoxious and vengeful.

7. These walls are getting old.

I've almost forgotten what outside looks like. I'd love to go somewhere on my own, but I can't muster the effort.

6. Sleep is for the sane.

Even when I do get a full night's sleep, I still crave more.

5. Every song is a sad song.

I just want to listen to the radio without wanting to put my fist through a window. Is that too much to ask?

4. Here we go again.

It's always the same crap: same issues, same thoughts, same emotions--the ones I always think I have dealt with weeks/months/years before.

3. Emotional constipation.

I feel like crying at all the wrong times, and then don't. I've spent entire days feeling weepy and getting nowhere.

2. Everybody suffers.

You, me, my son. His first birthday is in three days, and I haven't done anything to plan a party. I feel like a terrible mother.

1. Entire years of my life have possibly drained away at this point.

I'm 28 and feel like I have little to show for it. Sometimes I think I've spent my entire life this way. I have to get help.

10 comments:

Taming the beast! said...

I feel the same way about everything you wrote.
I am nearly 40 and have little to show for it, only my wonderful son. I feel like running away sometimes and climbing under a rock and never coming out.
Maybe we can support each other,if you like that is.
It's good to have some support sometimes.
Take care, I love your post.

Taming the beast! said...

Is it ok with you if I link back to this post?

April said...

Absolutely. Link away! And I agree, it would be great to support each other.

Jen said...

Depression robbed me of a lot of time and I really didn't wake up until I was 35 and started to write about it. I have been feeling the pull of depression lately and I don't like it.

Anne said...

Big hugs April... I'm here if you ever want to "talk."

Taming the beast! said...

Thank you April. As I am new to blogging please excuse me if I don't use propper etiquette.
I hope my grammar, or lack of it does not drive you mad.
I will put a link up when I work out how to do this.
Cheers

June Calender said...

Yes, Sweetheart, get help. There IS help, personal and chemical. A combination of talk and meds might give you a light in your life. Just remember not all counselors/doctors/psychiatrists are right for everyone. If one doesn't work another might. Life is too precious to feel like carp all the time.

Jami said...

wow! I can feel this way too sometimes... especially about number 7 - the walls of my house and office often get old... when ever I get down I try to do little things that might cheer me up... taking it a day at a time... :) chin up!!!!

revoltra said...

First time I'm reading your blog, but I really liked what you wrote here. Allot of it explains what i feel on a daily bases.

My best wishes go out to you and your family <3

April said...

Thanks, everyone!

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