Merry, Merry Christmas

Yes, dear readers, I'm still here. I haven't gone into labor yet, although the time is drawing near. I had my first real contraction yesterday, and my back and abdomen still feel tight and achy. We'll see what happens today. I'm sooo ready to meet little William!

Unfortunately, I'm spending today alone in the apartment. My husband was assigned 24 hour duty on Christmas day, so I won't see him until 9 or so tomorrow morning. We celebrated Christmas yesterday by opening all of our gifts. I managed to surprise my husband with an expensive, high-powered flashlight that he had been eying online. The thing can light up a building. My gift? A Plano 777 tackle box from Bass Pro Shop. Now, I know what you're thinking: a tackle box? Well, I've been waiting for weeks to get my hands on it. I'm using it as a bead caddy and tool organizer for my jewelry-making hobby. I spent two hours or so yesterday setting up all the compartments and arranging everything (it's a HUGE tackle box). I was more excited than a kid in a candy store...still am. I'll be making some more jewelry today.

In the time I haven't been blogging or playing with my tackle box, I've been trying to get everything ready for William's (and my mother-in-law's) arrival. So far I've stocked our freezer with 2 quarts of New England Clam Chowder, 24 burritos, 3 nine-inch deep dish chicken pot pies, and 16 chicken burger patties...all homemade by yours truly. I've also been cleaning and organizing the apartment bit by bit. One thing that has helped tremendously: a new computer desk. Up until a few days ago, the computer and all related electronic devices took up residence on the dining table. It looked terrible. When we moved everything to the new desk, I exclaimed, "Wow! It almost looks like people live here!"

As far as my mood...well, right now I feel relatively stable most of the time. The problem is that with the birth approaching, my hormones tend to fluctuate randomly. I'll be riding in the car or cooking and suddenly feel like crying for no reason. It's a bit unsettling.

As far as my dark secret goes, I haven't told my brother yet. I'm waiting for the holidays to pass first. No need to insert drama in what should be a happy time. Ignorance really can be bliss.

Hope you all are having the most wonderful Christmas ever.

How Hard is This?

Another rant:

I've been following the health care debate in this country for a while now, including attending a Town Hall meeting on the subject. Now, I am FED UP! Seriously, how hard is it to write this bill? What the Dems have come up with recently isn't worth the paper it's written on. Raise premiums? Cut benefits? How is that supposed to help anyone?

If I were sitting on Congress, this is the health care bill I would propose:

1. Reinstate anti-trust laws and allow businesses and individuals to buy insurance plans from any company, in-state or out. The increased competition to find the best cost-to-coverage ratio will lower insurance premiums.

2. Require businesses/employers to provide at least basic health insurance for all employees. Why? Because employers can purchase bulk health plans at a cheaper cost per policy than individuals. In exchange, the government could offer a tax break to businesses.

3. Reserve a government-run option for citizens living at or below the poverty line who are not covered by an employer's policy (to include children). The government plan would cover four clinical visits and one emergency visit per individual per year at selected clinics and hospitals offering quality care at the lowest cost to the government. Vaccines, school physicals, eye exams and glasses, and basic dental would be free for all children 15 and under. Low premiums--determined by income--would help cover some of the cost of the government option.

4. Cap award amounts for malpractice suits. Malpractice insurance comprises a huge chunk of current medical costs, which are passed on to patients in the form of higher hospital bills. Capping the award amounts would ultimately lower insurance costs for both doctors and patients.

5. Allow the importation of generic medications for beneficiaries of Medicare D. Such a move would help lower Medicare costs without cutting benefits, while allowing local pharmaceutical companies to retain a large market share with the rest of the public.

6. Require every citizen to carry some form of health insurance.* The more people who buy in, the lower overall insurance premiums should become.
*Only acceptable when there is free competition for health insurance as described in Part 1.

7. Streamline hospital and clinical admissions/processing to lower administrative costs. Every citizen has a social security number, right? Why not design a national health database system in which a receptionist at any clinic or hospital could enter a person's SSN and instantly access his or her medical records for the past year? Such a system would save untold amounts of time and money that are usually spent filling out, processing, and filing separate medical forms every time a patient transfers from one clinic or hospital to another. Some hospitals, like Roper St. Francis, are already trying to establish similar electronic filing systems.

I'm sure I could go on with other ideas, but this would be the basic plan. And it would have to work without increasing the federal deficit. Are you listening, Obama?

Can O' Worms

This month has put my Prozac to the test. Seriously. The holidays are stressful enough without being 9 months pregnant and nearly 1,000 miles away from family. But then I had to open my mouth and make life more complicated.

See, I finally spilled my darkest secret to my husband a little over a week ago. I had originally sworn that I would take said secret to my grave. But then a little piece of family news drudged up some unpleasant emotions, and I thought I might explode if I didn't tell someone. So I told my husband and spent the next few days moping in silence, trying to process the pain of a wound that had (I thought) been closed for years.

Now I have a new problem. My husband thinks I should tell my brother, since the information might concern him. The thought had crossed my mind a while back, but I convinced myself that it was easier to let sleeping dogs lie. Besides, any backlash resulting from releasing this secret will all fall on me: the guilt, the stress, the anger. And I don't know if I'm strong enough to live through all that again.

I almost wish I hadn't told my husband. But I didn't know what else to do. As it was, I had already kept it inside for far too long.

On top of all this, I've been ill with flu-like symptoms. The apartment is a disaster. My To-Do list for the holidays keeps growing. My body aches as it expands and prepares to give birth. I often feel like weeping. Sometimes I do.

I should probably seek counseling.